Many of you reading this know I lost another dog to canine cancer on Friday. This was an insidious monster, it is thought of as this by vets because it is a silent killer It lurks without warnings, waiting for the moment of attack, when the tumor bursts and bleeds out into the dog’s system, causing catastrophic loss of blood.
it happened to my Bailey. Bailey had gone blind with glaucoma a few weeks earlier, but was adjusting beautifully. He seemed happy again, and we looked forward to many more years together, Then, suddenly, Bailey collapsed.
The vet took x-rays, ultrasound………a massive tumor of the spleen…an area so rich in blood vessels, it was the perfect nourishing ground………it had spread to his liver and his kidneys had begun to go into failure. The only thing to do was a decision with no time to ponder……..in an instant, he was gone.
I have been crying and trying to come to terms with this monster again, no stranger in my house. In the past couple of years, I have lost two other dogs to various forms of it. I even wrote a book about my journey through grief.
I have been calling it the worst monster……..but perhaps, I am wrong. Bailey was Bailey up until the final hours……he ate that day, rested peacefully in comfort, shared snacks with my grandson and walked outside unhindered by his blindness.
There were no months of chemo and sickness; there were no days of force fed syringe feeding when appetite disappeared. There were no pills to fight a battle in swallowing There were no months of fear for me; there were no mornings of wondering what awaited when I walked down the stairs. Perhaps this monster was being kind; not kind in taking him away, but kind in doing it so quickly and quietly.
I have spent most of my life feeling death……taking care of elderly and ill animals in my home and in my work as a Reiki Master and Animal Intuitive. Each death teaches me more, enables me to understand more.
I have come to terms with this one. It was a good death. Isn’t that something we all hope for……..not the lingering and suffering that some monsters bring. This monster had a kindness in his heart that spared the prolonged suffering of mine.
In this world of so many monsters……….we will all meet ours. Might we all find a benevolent one.