“Coming to Terms with the Monster”

Many of you reading this know I lost another dog to canine cancer on Friday.   This was an insidious monster, it is thought of as this by vets because it is a silent killer   It lurks without warnings, waiting for the moment of attack, when the tumor bursts and bleeds out into the dog’s system, causing catastrophic loss of blood.

it happened to my Bailey.   Bailey had gone blind with glaucoma a few weeks earlier, but was adjusting beautifully.    He seemed happy again, and we looked forward to many more years together,  Then, suddenly, Bailey collapsed.

The vet took x-rays, ultrasound………a massive tumor of the spleen…an area so rich in blood vessels, it was the perfect nourishing ground………it had spread to his liver and his kidneys had begun to go into failure.   The only thing to do was a decision with no time to ponder……..in an instant, he was gone.

I have been crying and trying to come to terms with this monster again, no stranger in my house.   In the past couple of years, I have lost two other dogs to various forms of it.   I even wrote a book about my journey through grief.

I have been calling it the worst monster……..but perhaps, I am wrong.   Bailey was Bailey up until the final hours……he ate that day, rested peacefully in comfort, shared snacks with my grandson and walked outside unhindered by his blindness.

There were no months of chemo and sickness; there were no days of force fed syringe feeding when appetite disappeared.   There were no pills to fight a battle in swallowing   There were no months of fear for me; there were no mornings of wondering what awaited when I walked down the stairs.   Perhaps this monster was being kind; not kind in taking him away, but kind in doing it so quickly and quietly.

I have spent most of my life feeling death……taking care of elderly and ill animals in my home and in my work as a Reiki Master and Animal Intuitive.  Each death teaches me more, enables me to understand more.

I have come to terms with this one.   It was a good death.   Isn’t that something we all hope for……..not the lingering and suffering that some monsters bring.   This monster had a kindness in his heart that spared the prolonged suffering of mine.

In this world of so many monsters……….we will all meet ours.   Might we all find a benevolent one.

Blessings.

Shirl17426406_10207619875485701_6080785501960890424_n

Advertisements

About sknobloch

I am an Author, Artist, and Reiki Master and Intuitive Counselor, offering energy and guidance sessions on people and beloved pet companions. I divide my time between a Northern NJ suburb of Manhattan and Gettysburg, Pennsylvania. I enjoy pursuing paranormal explorations in this uniquely haunted town. Read more about me at www.briarrosereiki.com and http://shirlknoblochwillowfineartprintsandphotography.zenfolio.com/ All writings and photos © Shirl Knobloch.......no unauthorized copying or use permitted without written permission from the author and photographer, Shirl Knobloch.
This entry was posted in "Animal Communicator", A Writer's Blog, Life Musings from a Reiki Master and Intuitive Animal Communicator and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to “Coming to Terms with the Monster”

  1. susan0426 says:

    May God comfort you at this most difficult time.
    Brian and I would like to meet with you when you are in the Gettysburg area.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s